/bant/

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This article documents a changing event. You can help by updating it everytime anything epic happens.


/bant/ is Gook Moot's newest board for all the cool kids. You can come and hang out with Anonymous all over the world, and just chill out.
Created on May 4th, 2017, /bant/ unleashed the full force of its banter on the world. No American was safe from /bant/. 4chan trembled as the post numbers accelerated to the thousands, and well into the millions. /bant/ had marked its spot on the map. /bant/ would be unbeatable. /bant/ would be the last thing on the interweb. /bant/ would be God.

Nowadays, /bant/ is full of gay ERP threads and whiny faggots complaining about how shit the board is.

Typical thread on /bant/

History[edit]

Beginning (May ~ June)

In the beginning, there was darkness. Anonymous scurried around /bant/, unsure what to do with a fresh, random board. Multiple legions on 4chan rushed in to claim dominance over the board. One such powerful faction were the Touhoufags. Along with some h4x0r scripts, they successfully stole multiple major GETs. A name which is familiar today rose to the spotlight: Cirno.

Meanwhile, other anons were brainstorming possible maymays. They had to establish a culture which would define /bant/, before underageb& from /b/ and /pol/ could rush in to fill the void. One such early meme - perhaps the first, even - was /bant/ plant. A simple looking plant with a face. It never really took off, and is only referenced now by oldfags to assert dominance on the rest of /bant/. Other famous figures, such as Borche and Simon, appeared later.

As the 100,000s approached rapidly, the Touhoufags were booting up their scripts to steal the GET. /bant/erers awaited nervously as the numbers zoomed by. Then, the 99999GET came: A Kraut had taken the GET with was an image of Cirno, declaring war against the tumour of frogposters. Touhoufags rejoiced, while many sat pissing themselves with anger at how an 'anime' character had stolen their precious quints. With a mod posting in the thread, acknowledging the GET, Cirno had eternally sealed its name in the history of /bant/. And that is how Cirno came to be queen of /bant/.

Cirnoqueen.png

(By the way, Cirno actually missed the 100kGET by 1. They'll try to cover it up by saying 9 is the strongest number or some bullshit, but you know that they missed it, and they'll know that you know, and you'll know that too, and they won't be able to do a thing about it.)

/bant/ also found much of its entertainment in May by shitting up PixelCanvas and going to war with spic clans and Tumblr. Multiple sprites of /bant/ characters and a variant of the Kreigsmarine flag were also created and heavily guarded by autists 24/7.

Bantspic.png
A larger version was planned and was around 80% done when commies and ancaps took over and converted it completely.

June rolled around. Spam was already on the rise, as it proved quite an effective way of alerting everybody that you really like this unfunny meme you made. A Dutch anon liked this tactic, and began to flood the board with lame cropped pictures. Many other anons followed suit, some of which had been rammed down /bant/‘s throat so hard it made its way into /bant/ ‘culture’. Alzheimer spam, for example, had been started by an Argentine.
Meanwhile, /bant/ was losing focus of PixelCanvas, and some of the precious work were being destroyed. One anon said I'VE HAD ENOUGH, and unleashed a bot to colour a huge chunk of the site into moot's face. Srsly.
Attempts to reunited 4chan on PixelCanvas had also failed, and a plan of creating clovers died faster than it was made.

The Mootening

Apuposters had also begun to enter /bant/, often creating 'fren' threads with horrible spelling. This divided the board into two, with some hating it, purely because of frogs, and others neutral, as it did not follow the faggotry of the nu-/pol/ users who also used frogs, such as Smug Pepe.

Summer and Late 2017

Summer had arrived and /bant/ knew it. One /b/tard thought it would be a great idea to advertise /bant/ on /b/. Huge fucking fail. Hordes of newfags flooded the board, which only increased the shit amounts of spam constantly plaguing the board. Several avatarfags had also begun to post with dynamic IPs, most notably ck and a Dutchnigger, posting Kotori and Kagari respectively.
Apuposters and Cirnoposters had increasing tensions, often being confused on whether to hate the other or not. Naturally, the Kagarifag thought it would be hilarious to act as a Cirnoposter and declare war on the Apuposters. A massive shitfest of two autistic clans arguing all day ensued. This heavily damaged the acceptance of Apuposting.

As the summer deepened, Kagari had achieved it's first major GET. Feeling confident, he decided to shoop a smug face onto Kagari, and attached it everytime he obtained a GET. This resulted in massive butthurt from /bant/.
The 2000000GET was nearing, and Kagarifag was preparing his scripts, which had rarely failed him. He aimed, and posted carefully...
Cirno had stolen the get, and was stickied to rub it in Kagarifag's face. Kagari had obtained the deluxe 2000001GET. This sent him into a massive fit for a few hours, claiming the mods had manipulated the GET. While he successfully achieved the 2222222GET, nobody really cared because he was already so assblasted by Cirno that /bant/ knew he could never recover. Kagariposter eventually got b& at the beginning of September.

The legendary butthurt

This period marked the rise of the namefags. We saw many prominent namefags like Coconut, Diamond, "chicanon xd", Memeboi and Normie. They still plague the board to this day, however everyone has gotten used to it by now. Considering the small number of members there's really no point in making a huge deal about namefags, as most of them end up posting for around a month or so before fading into obscurity.

2017 was drawing to a close. Towards the end of August, a retarded version of Wojak had begun to spam the board, known as Slowjak. While it never really took off as a /bant/ meme, it is sometimes used to mock stupid people on /bant/. The spam lasted well into November, sometimes filling large parts of the catalog.

Early 2018 (January ~ April)

During these months, there was a lot of interesting things going on on the board. Several new papers were founded to fill the void left in the /bant/ news market after The Morning /bant/er announced its discontinuation. Thanks to these papers we have a lot of information about this period of the board that probably won't find its way into this page.

January opened with a sticky on the 16th, embedded with a 16 minute long compilation of Gachimuchi (embedded below). Almost prophetically, Billy Herrington died a few months later, on March 3rd. 4chan mourns the death with multiple stickies on 4 different boards, but not /bant/. The obscurity of the meme made a lot of people post the same three or four pictures of Herrington for weeks after his death in an effort to convince others of their oldfag status.

Memeboi temporarily returned in March before being assblasted off the site again.

In April, 'We No Speak Americano' is embedded into a sticky. Many /bant/dits complain about how annoying it is.

Summer 2018 (May ~ August)

The Summer of 2018 noticeably dipped in quality severely.[citation needed] This was partly fuelled by a huge outbreak of The Gay.

Example of Memeboi autism

On the 10th of June, a previously inactive tripfag called Memeboi reappeared. One day, Memeboi discovered Alice3D's threads. Being the autistic underageb& he is, he sperged out and shitted up the catalog with dumb threads about her. Nearly every single day, Memeboi would return to create the same threads. He currently still makes one or two threads daily, but noone really gives a shit anymore. His last documented thread was on 11th August. He occasionally returns to spew out shit for an hour or so and then leaves.

Typical Korbo threads. He has confirmed proxies in Worst Korea and Straya.

Meanwhile, encouraged by all the shit Memeboi was spewing out of his underage ass, an Italian faggot named Korbo also similarly felt enraged by Alice3d's cooking threads, and collected all the data he could about her/him. He always posts in ALL CAPS, and refers to her/him in (((echo))). He makes threads about Alice3D daily from multiple proxies, using shitty infographics which he made, supposedly 'exposing' her. Korbo is a lunatic and you should never, ever post in his threads.

Late 2018 (September ~ December)

Late 2018 saw increased user-interaction with the mods. This was proven by a Cirno Day sticky, and a few more afterwards in a somewhat-short period of time. The speed of /bant/ also crashed from around 10,000 posts per day to around 8,900. Alice 3D by now had fucked off successfully, bringing with her (him) hoards of trash which plagued the board during the summer into the void.

On September 19th, /bant/ history was made. PD had sneaked into a movie theatre, and discovered a modern art exhibition in the back. Some of the most expensive paintings ranged into the 3000 dollars range. Being the epic Chad he was, he opened a fire enxtinguisher in the room, and stabbed the most expensive painting with a flathead screwdriver, wrecking most of it. He then left to play D&D with his nerd friends. Normie then decided to do a polarising move. He discovered the location of the exhibiton, and tipped off the police with PD’s face, dug up from the archives. Some say this is a great idea, and wait excitedly for mainstream news coverage, while others think that Normie is a massive faggot for perhaps getting PD locked up.

4chan’s 15th birthday had come, and some Italian discordnigger created a thread exposing Memeboi, saying he was LARPing. This is still significant, because it means that a large majority of shitty summer threads were actually him, from different proxies. He eventually stopped the Memeboi character because he got bored, thankfully.

Epic Wins[edit]

  • Creating a huge flag on Pixelcanvas and pissing off spics on the site
The vlogger multiverse assembles. Ended up breaking down and making a vlog about ‘4chain trolls’.
  • Convinced an edgy girl to open her cut wounds and rub lemon and salt in them
  • Polish anon got sent to hospital[citation needed] for getting dick stuck in duct tape for /bant/
  • A homeless vlogger asks for attention on /bant/ for his videos with his mum, instead recieves requests for incest porn in every single thread. /bant/ finds pictures of him eating canned ravioli and creates a shit ton of shopped images of him, posting as him from supposedly ‘different dimensions’ for a few days.
OH SHIIIII-
  • Britbong breaks into suicidal guy’s empty house and finds his notebook and hardrives. He takes them, and finds worrying stuff. /bant/ decided to message the man’s (PowerWord: David Mulleary) family about his notebook via Facebook. Family shits brix. Also leaves /bant/ graffiti behind.
  • /bant/ finds a 15 year old’s little internet project where it will print out any text message you want it to. Ends up burning through all of his paper and partly breaking the printer. Some anons (including the Manxlet) decide to make up for it by sending him money.
  • PD breaks into an art gallery and destroys roughly $4000 worth of paintings.
PD’s masterpiece

Epic Fails[edit]

  • Virtually everything else

How to NOT make threads[edit]

  • Don't blogpost about how much of a massive flaming faggot you are.
  • Don't make dumb meta threads.
  • Don't post anything that would most likely be from /pol/ (e.g. Kekistani, Q anon...)
  • /b/ shit is not welcome either. (e.g. r8 me, wwyd, porn requests, general roll threads...)
  • Don’t involve yourself in any frogposter and animeposter ‘war’ autism.